Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
