She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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