and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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