I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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