Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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