they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
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The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
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Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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