But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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