Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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