I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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