Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
