I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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