You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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