I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
