I need help removing her.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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