Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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