you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
