do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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