Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dear god my vagina.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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