So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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