Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
