So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
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I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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