You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
