It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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