You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
