You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
