mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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