my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
