He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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