just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought