if you like me you must not know who I am
no, he came in my armpit
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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