is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Acid is not a monday night drug
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
