All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
