All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dick very happy bro
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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