And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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