Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
