I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
