i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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