So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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