How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
