I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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