I feel like abortions should bother me more
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
