don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
