Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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