I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think i got beer on your cat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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