He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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