that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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