just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
