I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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