im six kinds of drunk right now
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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