like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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