omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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