I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
