i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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