I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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