I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
