Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
