i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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