i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
