so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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