Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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