If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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