I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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