They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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